Hetalpoppin'
by Zanteh
Summary: Hetalpoppin' - Because randomness never ends. How about a play where no-one knows what will happen next? Lots of Hetalia characters used, somewhat Yaoi.
1. Don't talk to strangers

Me and GaaraXofxdaxFunk on deviantART aren't so proud to present Hetalpoppin'!!

Greece: Once upon a time, two people on dA were commenting... and they ended up writing THIS.  
GaaraXofxdaxFunk: It's all her fault!! *pointing at me*  
Me : MY FAULT?? HALF OF THIS WAS WRITTEN BY YOU!  
GaaraXofxdaxFunk: Yes, but you commented first.  
Me : *sulks* That poster was meant to be commented...

That's right, guys. This is the result of me and GaaraXofxdaxFunk COMMENTING. And we haven't finished yet, so prepare yourself for more randomness!!

Why this title? It's a reference to an old movie which had no start, no end and anything happening was absolutely RANDOM! (because randomness never ends!!)  
Moreover, the story is written like it was a script (I'd pay to see someone playing it xD) bacause WE ARE SO CULTIVATED -like Austria!

There are looooots of characters in this... THING, because we love ALL of them! And yes, It's a YAOI because we love yaoi as much as Hungary does!!

And, guys... If you like the story, well... you ARE ALLOWED to take ANY quote and use it as you please AS LONG AS you give us credits. So, feel free to spread the idiocy!!

The authors love you, so please, don't blame them if you have serious brain damages after reading this! Thank you!

Story (c) Me and GaaraXofxdaxFunk

Hetalia characters (c) Hidekaz Himaruya

The authors aren't going to pay for any damage this may cause to your brain. Thank you!

* * *

Greece: Once upon a time, there was this picture of England... *showing picture*  
Turkey: America or France? This is the question!!!  
Greece: France all the way! America would be like... yelling about being a hero or something..

America: WAAAA?? He would cheat on me with WHOOOOO???The hero will never be... cheated upon. :D I will invade England for his disloyalty!! And while I'm at it I will take all the oil!!

England: America wants to do what??? Guys, PREPARE THE SCONES!!!

America: Deploying the scones already, are you?! Hah! BRING OUT THE CHEEZ WHIZ, TROOPS!!!  
England: Noooo! The cheez whiz NOOOOOOO!! It reminds me of France!!!!  
France: *getting out of nowhere* Need help with our little yet incredibly powerful son, my dear wife?  
England: Quick, France! He's got cheez whiz! And he's not afraid of using it!!  
America: What now, bitches?! *squirts cheez whiz at England*  
England: MOTHER FU- *direct hit*  
France: Oh, my lovely wife! Has the evil of the whiz marred your lovely body?! You American monster!  
America: : D  
France: I shall avenge my wife! *takes out escargot* Take THIS!  
America: *hit by escargot* NOOOOEZ! IT'S SQUISHY! AND IT'S EATING MY BRRAAAINSSS!  
France: What brain??

Switzerland: Oh, Liechtenstein, look! So much cheese and no-one to eat it! *takes out a cauldron to prepare fondue*  
France: Be careful not to eat my marriage proposal!!  
Liechtenstein: *tosses pretzel in France's general direction* Nii-san, why won't he just be quiet?  
France: M-MON DIEU!!! HOW COULD YOU?! AND I THOUGH YOU WERE SUCH A SWEET GIRL!  
Liechtenstein: *blushes* See?  
Switzerland: *SWISS RAGE* Shut the fuck up, France! No one loves you.  
France: I beg to differ~ *stares at England and licks lips*  
Liechtenstein: Nii-san, why does this Käse taste like tea?  
England: *emerging from the cauldron* I'm free!! *sees Switzerland munching his arm* CANNIBALS!!! *sees France staring* FRENCHS!!!  
Liechtenstein: Nii-san! There's a Brit in my fondue!!!  
Switzerland: *finally notices that England isn't cheese* O-oh god. Damnit, what were you doing in the cheese?!  
England: Hell if I know. That bloody frog put me there.  
France: Don't look at me! I just wanted to see if it'd taste differrent!  
Liechtenstein: It does. ///  
France: That's aweso-  
Prussia: DID SOMEONE CALL ME?!?

America: A new flavour?? I WANNA TASTE IT!!  
England: AAAAH! GET AWAY! I'M WORSE AS FOOD THAN AS COOK!  
Switzerland: True!!!

Prussia: Something worse than his cooking? HERESY!  
Spain: Holy Great Inquisition!!  
France: I'd still love to lick him. ^^  
Prussia & Spain: O.O  
Prussia: I'd eat /me/ flavoured cheese. I so fuckin' would.  
Germany: You'd eat you flavoured anything.  
France: So would I. 3

England: *SO TOTALLY SECRETLY JEALOUS* Christ, shut UP France!  
America: *liiiiiicks England like an ice-cream*  
England: O/////////////////O

France: YES! THAT'S WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT!*nosebleed*  
Prussia: This is gettin' good! HEY, WEST! BRING SOME POP-CORN!  
Switzerland: Liechtenstein, today you'll learn how little nations are created.  
Liechtenstein: Oooh, Nii-san! I'm so excited! *eyes sparkling*

America: Derp, I think it's time to show England who today's superpower issss...!  
England: Quit teasing me, you git!

Prussia: BWAHAHAH!! I never knew England could be such a pussy!  
Germany: *eats popcorn and averts eyes* ////

America: *rips off England's shirt* Oh, look! There's Cheez Whiz on your chest!

France: If it's a dream, don't wake me up!!  
Prussia: *on his mobile* Hey, Hungary!! No, I don't care if you're busy with Austria, but...-No, I didn't kill your cat, yet..-No, no, Greece's either! But... WOMAN! SHUT UP AND GET THE FRIGGIN' CAMERA!  
Germany: I hope Italy will never--

N Italy: Doitsu! Doitsu! What are you---?  
Germany: Oh sheisse... *covers Italy's eyes* Nothing to see here, Feliciano.  
N Italy Doitsuuu~ I wanna see now! Stop making me so curious!  
America: Mmm, England~ *sucks on shirt* It's all over.  
Germany: Mutter f- *covers own eyes*

Hungary: *runs in with camera* What is it, Prussia? Is something wro... Y-YAOI!!  
Prussia: Aren't you glad I called?  
Hungary *nosebleeds*: KYAAAAA!! Prussia, you're Awesome! You are friggin' AWESOME! *starts recording*  
Prussia: I know, my dear, I know...HEY, DON'T STOP FLATTERING M-*frying-pan'd*  
Hungary: *trembling* YAOI... YAOI... YAOI...

N Italy: Doitsuuuu~! Why's England as red as a tomato?  
Germany: DON'T WATCH! *holds him closer*  
S Italy: *throws a tomato in Germany's face* PUT YOUR HANDS OFF, YOU GERMAN BASTARD! *sees America and England* HOLD HIM CLOSER, YOU GERMAN BASTARD!  
Hungary: *glares*  
S Italy *sweatdrop* I think Spain called me!  
Hungary: *takes out frying pan*  
S Italy I'M COMING! *runs away*

England: Hey, that's my line!!! *pants*

-----------------  
To Be Continued.......


	2. The randomness continues

BWAHAHAHAH! Because weirdness has no end!!! And Russia knows!! What will happen next? Stay tuned, I sense there's idiocy in the wind...

This was written on S. Valentine's Day, but...  
Hungary: Every day is S. Valentine's Day!! *recording*  
So, just read please....

If you don't speak...

German:  
Es schmeckt gut: It tastes good  
Aber es schmeckte mir gut: But it tasted good  
Ich liebe dich: I LOVE YOU!! (Austria is so romantic)  
Das stimmt: That's true.  
Mein Gott: My God!  
Du hast: you have  
Bruder: Brother  
Was: WHAT  
Ach! nein! Wo ist mein... : Hey! No! Where's my...?

Italian:  
O mio Dio: Oh My God

French:  
Cette soirée- moi, toi..: This evening, me, you...  
Ouais: Familiar for Yes (oui)  
Prusse: Prussiaaaaa!!  
Mon Dieu: Oh my God!  
Je regrette, mais..: Sorry, but...

Requiem (c) Mozart  
Characters (c) Hetaliaaaaaaa!  
Story??? (c) Me and TheXFunk

* * *

Prussia: *rubs head and gets up* Uuugh, did you make me miss anything with that stupid pan of yours?  
Hungary: Oh, shut up! You must get to see this all the time between your brother and Italy.  
Germany: *blushes under tomato*  
N Italy: Doitsu, you have tomato all over your face! *giggles* Let me lick off for you!  
Germany: *mentally explodes... again*

America: *throws down shirt* Now that your shirt's all clean...~  
England: .... O///O  
America: Let's get dirty. OH SO CLICHED!!!! *runs away to emo corner*

N Italy: Doitsuuu! Now you have fried tomato all over your face! Can I nibble it away?  
Germany: *brain explodes and lands in Lithuania's hands*  
Lithuania: WTF?  
Poland: It's all, like, PINK!!! I totally love it! *sparkles*

Hungary: America, come back to your place NOW!!  
England: DO NOT!!!  
Hungary: *growls*  
England: You can come near!  
Hungary: *murderous glare*  
England: *scowls* Fine. But it's the last time!!  
America: That you complain about me being on top?  
Japan: You could switch roles for once! *Yaoi-sense tickling*  
Hungary: AWESOME! Wait, How would you--  
Japan: Can you feel the love tonight~?

England: S-switch roles? *clears throat* I suppose. *pushes America against MAGICALLY APPEARING WALL*  
America: Now, now, Iggy. Let's think about this. I'm the hero! The hero does NOT bottom! Ever! :D  
England: There's a first time for everything. *rapeface*

Hungary: I love you, Japan.  
Japan: I know. ^_^  
N Italy: *pokes Germany* Doitsu~! Why are you dripping tomato sauce on me?  
Germnay: *bleeds from large head wound* ...  
N Italy: (o.o) D-DOITSUUUU!!!  
Poland: *takes brain from Lithuania* This would look totally FABULOUS in that Tiffany vase of mine.

America: England, what's with that face? England! ENGLA-Ah...aaah...  
England: *giggles sadistically*

Hungary: This is going straight to e-bay!!  
Japan: Please, set one aside for me.^_^  
France: God exists and he's blessing me right now with his-I WANT ONE!!  
Prussia: I need money!! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEST!!

Germany: *out of order*  
N Italy: DOITSUUUUUU!! Wake up!! It's not funny!! KYAAAAA! Someone help meeeeh!!  
America: *throws an hamburger at N Italy*  
N Italy: *looks confused*  
America: *pants* in his fa-ah..ce..!  
N Italy: *inserts the hamburger in the empty skull*  
Germany: *slowly opens his eyes* Italia...  
N Italy: Doitsuuuu!!!! You live!! Thank you, America!!!  
America: An Hero is an hero both in bed and down the stree- *moan*  
England: Down heeeere~? *smug smile*

Germany: Italia... Get me some grass, bitte.  
N Italy: Sur-- WHAT? *thinks for a second* You want marijuana, Doitsu? I can ask Holland if-  
Germany: Nein, Grass! I'm fucking starving!  
N Italy: .... *stares*  
Germany: Ach! *grabs flowers from nearby vase, chews loudly* Es schmeckt gut... mmmmh.

Hungary: Would you please SHUT UP?! I'm trying to make quality pr0nz here.  
France: Nothing could possibly ruin this. Not even cow!Germany.  
America: Hah! In America we pride ourselves in producing the highest qua- aaaaahhhn! OH GOD!! *dontstopplz*

N Italy: Doitsu... You're eating a plastic flower..  
Germany: WAAAAAAS?? Aber es schmeckte mir gut.. *pouts*  
N Italy: *poits at Germany* You. are. pouting. OMMIODDIO!! So cuuuuuuuuuute!!!! *glomps*

Prussia: Italiaaa! Gimme his wallet! I need money!  
N Italy: *rips off Germany's shirt*  
Germany: O///O Stop molesting me! I have no milk!!

France: *on the phone* Belgium! Cette soirée- Moi, toi and a good porn. Ouais, I'll ask Prusse for beer!!  
Japan: This will solve the economical crisis!  
Hungary: This will teach Austria how to move!

Austria: *text message to Hungary but recieved by Prussia* Ich liebe dich. - Happy Saint Valentine's Day.  
Prussia: Oh. F*ck. *hides mobile*

Russia: Poland, what's there behind your back?  
Poland: N-Nothing!!  
Russia: It looks like a... brain?  
Poland: I SAID N- Wait, what? A brain? Lithuania, you totally suck at romance!  
Lithuania:... *trembles*  
Russia: A brain... *stares*  
Poland: You'll never have it! *throws back brain*

England: *hit by brain - turns into a German* Me on top of Amerika on Valentine's Day? THERE WAS NOTHING LIKE THAT ON THE MANUAL!!  
America: *sweating and totally messed up* Why'd ya Sto-op??

Germany: *chews on plastic* Mooo.  
N Italy: What was that?  
Germany: Um, mooo...d. Mood. I'm in a good mood. Das stimmt.  
N Italy: .... *stares*

Prussia: *to Austria via Hungary's cell phone* "I lied all this time, darling. My one true love is only Prussia. He's just too ORGASMICALLY AWESOME for me to resist."  
Hungary: What are you doing with my phone, Prussia?  
Prussia: Nothing at all!! *sends message and tosses it back*

Russia: No fair!! I want a brain too! LITHUANIA... KOL KOL KOL  
Lithuania: RIGHTAWAYRUSSIA! *runs off to procure a brain*  
Russia: *big grin* Koling always works.

America: Unhh, C'mooon, Iggy! Don't stop now! *shakes Arthur*  
England: Look at this mess! You're all sweaty and disgusting! *mops at America with discarded shirt* Mein Gott! Tsk.

Austria: *reads text message* Oh. So that's why she didn't want me to enter the guest room. *plays piano sadly*

Hungary: My sense of wife is tickling! PRUSSIA! *takes out frying pan*  
Prussia: Hungary, look!! *points at England scolding America*

England: Having sex in front of people with that hair! Du hast no respect for the others!  
America: E-England??

Hungary: What the--? MY PORN IS RUINED! *Hungarian rage*  
Japan: *stares at Deutschland mooing* ...  
Prussia: BRUDER!!

America: *shakes England so much that the brain falls* WHERE IS ENGLAND?! I NEED HIM!!  
England: *recovers* You... You need me? *gaydar at its limit*

Sealand: *kicks ball* Mommy, Mommy!! I found a soft pink ball!!  
Finland: Sealand, throw it back, it's all wet and squishy!!  
Sealand: Fine, mum!! *kicks Germany's brain*

Germany: *hit by brain* Aww, my head... *sees and Japan staring* WAS?  
N Italy: You have grass between your teeth.

America: Of course I do! The hero always needs a right hand man!  
England: /// Blimey... I guess that calls for immediate action, then. *strips down further to reveal sexy waiter outfit* Time for dessert, 'Merca.  
America: Yay, you're back, I- *moans*

Hungary: *nods in approval* Good save, England, good save. *turns on Prussia* Now, what the hell did you do to Austria?!  
Prussia: I told him the truth, nothing more!  
Hungary: ... *hands Japan the camera* Miss a second of it and you'll be so fucking sorry.  
Japan: *nods*

Lithuania: Haah, *returns from SOMEWHERE with a brain* Here's... your (huff) brain, Russia!  
Russia: *takes brain, pats it* Hee, hee. *turns around and throws it at Sealand*

Sealand: Mon dieu! How did I get in this tiny body?! *looks down* Ooh, I'm so cute! Mmmm~!

Russia: Heeheeheehee!! XD  
Lithuania: What have I done?

Germany: *picks at teeth* Ach! Nein! Wo ist mein toothbrush?! *walks off*  
N. Italy: Doitsu, waaait -ve!!

Sweden: *enters the room* L't's g' t' IKEA.  
Finland: Oh, yes, darling! Sealand, put on your coat, we're leav'-- RUSSIA?? what are you doing here?? *holds Xmas tree*  
Sealand: Je regrette, mais I have better things to do.  
Finland: O.o? WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY CHILD???

Hungary: *kicking off the door* AUSTRIAAAA!!  
Austria: *playing 'Requiem' sadly*  
Hungary: Austria! I'm sorry, Prussia...  
Austria: is more "orgasmically awesome" than me. Yes, I know.  
Hungary: *turns to Prussia* YOU ARE A DEAD NATION! DO YOU HEAR ME? A DEAD NATION!!

Prussia: FRAAAAANCE! SPAAAAAIN! HUNGARY'S GONNA KILL MEEEH!  
Spain: You've had a nice life.  
Prussia: I was born in 1525!!  
Spain: I said nice, not long.  
Japan: If you bleed on the screen, you'll beg me to kill you quickly.

America: I've loved you since I was a child.. *lustful eyes*  
England: *unzipping his pants* Me too, my dear..  
America: ...You are a pedophile?

* * *

To Be Continued....


	3. What the hell?

England: *reads Hetalpoppin'* Now, where's the fun in this.. this...  
Hungary: PORN!  
France: Porn!  
Japan: Porn.  
Canada: Story!  
All: *glare*

America: The Internet is for Pronz!  
N. Italy: Ve~ really? **wide sparkling chibi-eyes** Doitsu, is that why you bought that computer?  
Germany: **covers N. Italy's ears** You heard nothing. You heard absolutely nothing.  
Kumajiro: Who?  
: But, Doitsu... The lover is Italian!! *wiggles eyebrows*  
All: *stare speechless*  
Germany: WAS? *grunt* I'm still the one on top.  
France: Yeah, and I'm a pussy!  
England: Eventually you admit it!  
America: Round one... FIGHT!

Roman Empire: **watching from the sidelines** Ooooohh!!!! And there's my cute grandson again!!!  
Germania: **stuck with hanging out with the Roman Empire** =.=" yes. AGAIN.  
N. Italy: Ve~?! **takes out the white flag** Doitsu! Doitsuuuu!!!! It's the English Arrrrmmyyyy!!!! Help me, Doitsu! Help me!!!  
Germany: **facepalm** alright then... **picks up Italy** **drags him away**

S Italy: NORD!!! DON'T BE SUCH A BABY! FIGHT FOR ONCE!!!!!!!  
Hungary: **death glare**  
S Italy: O.O" DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT FIGHTING!!!!! JUST GO HOME WITH THE POTATO BASTARD!!!!!  
Hungary: **still glaring**  
S Italy: Ack!!! SPAIN, WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GO?!?! **runs away**

France: Hungary, ma chèrie, you know you look older when you glare like th- *pan'd*  
Prussia: Though it's even worse when yo--*pan'd*  
Hungary: *has run out of pans* *growls*  
Spain: ROMANO! ROMANO, WHERE ARE YOU? perdòn, abuela, did you-  
Hungary: Mr. Wardrobe, MEET SPAIN!!  
Spain: AAAAAAAAAAAH! *screams like a lady*

America: AN HERO CAN'T LEAVE A DAMSEL IN DISTRESS! *goes to save Spain*  
England: WHAT?? *jealous*  
Liechtenstein: Here England! *gives princess-like pink robe*  
England: *puts on robe*

Switzerland: Why did you do that?  
Liechtenstein: Sexual Education class needs material.  
Austria: *shakes head* Those girls nowadays... acting like sluts and watching porn movies.  
Switzerland: **twitch twitch** **glares at Austria** WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!  
Austria: **shrugs** To give this spaz-fest a soundtrack, I suppose... **begins playing the Benny Hill theme song on a conveniently placed piano**

America: FINAL JUSTICE! **throws a hamburger at Hungary**  
Hungary: **is unaffected** **chucks a France at America**  
France: AIIEEEE!  
America: O.O" **is France'd**

England: FRANCE YOU BLOODY TWAT! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU FUCKING DOING?!?!  
France: Ohoho, America... such a lovely body you ha-  
America: Damn it, my Captain America impression didn't work D':

England: SEYCHELLES!!! MAKE READY THE BISCUITS!!!!!!!!!  
Seychelles: **rolls eyes** we don't have any biscuits, sir.  
England: WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU MEAN, "WE'RE OUT OF BISCUITS"?!?!?!  
Seychelles: I mean, there are no biscuits, Mr. England.  
England: WHAAAATTT?!?!?! HOW THE BLOODY HELL DO WE GET RID OF FRANCE IF WE DON'T HAVE ANY BLOODY BISCUITS?!?!  
Seychelles: ....Mr. England, are you.... jealous of France?  
England: **blushes** SHUT YOUR BLOODY MOUTH!!! I WOULD NEVER BE SUCH A THING, NOW GO GET ME SOME FUCKING BISCUITS!!!!!!!

Romano: SPAIN!!!! **runs up in front of Spain** **begins yelling at Hungary** ASKJAHDKJGHF WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!?! HE'S MY BASTARD, I'M THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN MAKE HIM SCREAM LIKE A LADY!!!!!  
Hungary: **yaoi senses.... TINGLEINGGGGGG** ahurrr~  
Romano: **blushes** I DIDN'T MEAN THAT WAY!!!!!!!!  
Prussia: SUUUUURE you didn't.... **scoffs**

England: FINE! I'll solve this myself! *throws himself at France*  
France: *kicks him into a dark room*  
England: *recovering* Hey! What the--  
France: *kissing neck* So I heard you liek... BISCUITS?  
England: O.O !!!

America: *trembling* I've been france'd... FRANCE'D! Can you imagine what I went through?  
Canada: But America, France is my Papa and...  
America: *looks at him with HUGE WIDENED eyes* Oh no.. SO YOU'RE DEFENDING HIM, UH? *gets paranoid* YOU'RE ALL DEFENDING HIM, EH? *takes out rifle* ANSWER ME!!

Hungary: YAY! ACTION!  
Austria: *plays Moonlight sonata*  
Switzerland: GET AWAY FROM THAT F*CKIN' PIANO AND PSYCANALYSE HIM!  
Austria: *snorts* What's the magic word?  
Liechtenstein: *covering Schweizs mouth* Please.  
Austria: *stands up and walks to America*  
Switzerland: Schwester...  
Liechtenstein: America's using your rifle.  
Switzerland: WAAAAAAAAASS? *cheerleader-mode* GO AUSTRIAAA!

Spain: *sees a light in front of him* ... An angel?  
Romano: IDIOT!  
Spain: Better you than the whole heaven!

Canada: I-I'M NOT DEFENDING HIM, EH?! P-P-P-PUT, PUT THAT GUN AWAY!!! W-WHY THE HELL DO YOU EVEN HAVE A GUN, EH?! AND I'M THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN SAY "EH" AROUND HERE, EH!  
America: **rolls eyes** It's not a gun, it's a RIFLE! Now ANSWER ME HONESTLY! **shoves gun rifle in Canada's face**  
Canada: B-B-B-B-But, I-  
America: ARRGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! YOU BETTER TELL ME, OR ELSE I'LL **is tripped by Austria** **falls on Canada, resulting in an unwanted, incesty-like kiss** o///O MMRPPHH?! **drops rifle**  
Canada: //// MRRRMPH!!!! **desperately trying to shove America off of him**

Switzerland: **grabs rifle** **stands on America's back** That's for stealing my rifle, ya JERK!  
Austria: **shakes head** Men these days, smoking as much crack as they can get their hands on and blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah... **continues rambling about nonsense**  
Liechtenstein: **tugs on Switzerland's sleeve** Nii-san, is that what's in all those containers that say "Do not open"?  
Switzerland: **blushes** NO. NOT AT ALL.

Hungary: WOO HOO!!!!! INCEST!!!!  
Japan: **sudden cry of defeat** NOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Hungary: What?!  
Japan: WE ARE OUT OF TAAAAAAAAAPPPPEEEEEE!!!!!!!!  
Hungary: ... AFFFFFFFFFSLKJDHKJFGLKAJSHT GOD DAMN IT!!!!! **shoves another camera in Japan's face** MISS ONE MORE SECOND OF IT AND I SWEAR TO GOD-  
Japan: O.e" **begins filming again**

France: Oh, come on, mon Angleterre. You know you liiiikkkeee it... **gently bites down on England's neck**  
England: **blushes** B-BLOODY HELL, NO I DON'T!!!!! **tries to shove France off**  
Seychelles: Liar~ ^w^  
England: SHUT YOUR MOUTH YOU GIT!!!!!!!!  
Seychelles: Make me~ **begins taking pictures**  
England: P-PUT THAT CAMERA AWAY RIGHT NOW YOUNG LADY!!!!!!!!!  
France: Oh, a camera~ **slides hands up England's shirt** Smiiilleeee~  
England: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

---

To be continued...


	4. Roar!

Me: Awwwww, aren't they cute?? ^^ Stay tuned for more randomness!!

If you don't speak...

French:

Je veux te voir dans un film pornographique~ : I want to see you in a porn movie (song: je veux te voir - Yelle)  
Tu n'as jamais été pur, mon amour~ : You've never been pure, my love.  
Mon petit lapin: My little bunny  
Quoi: What??

German:

bitte: Please  
scheisse: Shit!

------- 

America: IGGY! YOUR HERO IS COMING!  
Canada: BUT WE'VE JUST STARTED! *holds tight*  
America: o.O What?  
Canada: Eeeehm.. Don'cha wish your boyfriend was half-French like me~? *smirk*  
America: ... FUCK YEAH! *jumps on Canada*

England: *hears America* WHAAAAAT? *struggles* LET ME GO! LET ME GO!Listen, I'm not in the mood, fine? I'm not in the-- BLOODY HELL FRANCE!!  
France: *handcuffs England to the bed* Je veux te voir dans un film pornographique~  
Seychelles: HUNGARY-SAMA WILL BE SO PROUD!! *takes pictures*  
Taiwan: Yet I feel something is missing...  
Hong Kong: Fireworks?  
France: Fireworks? Bha! We're going to set this bed on fire, bébé! *seductive smile*  
England: *terror* I WANT TO STAY PUUUREEE!!!

Prussia: Did you hear something?  
Japan: Only England screaming in terror.  
Hungary: *dribbling* Yaoi... Incest... France... THE WORLD WILL BE MIIIINE! *evil laugh*

Liechtenstein: But nii-sama! You can tell me!! I'm your innocent little sister!  
Austria: You've got a Swiss knife in your garter.  
Switzerland: *points rifle* HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?  
Austria: *moves it away* Hungary told me.  
Switzerland: *aims at Hungary* HOW WOULD SHE KNOW?

Prussia: Err... Hungary?  
Hungary: *glares* WHAT.  
Prussia: *points at Switzerland*  
Hungary: ...I'VE GOT A FRYING PAN AND I'M NOT AFRAID OF USING IT!  
Prussia: AND SHE'S NOT AFRAID OF USING IT!!  
Korea: DRAMA!! Made in Korea. *winks*

America: **crashes lips into Canada's**  
Canada: **kisses back** **remembers he's on the bottom** uh uh. I'm _so_ being seme tonight. **rolls on top of America**  
America: Nuh uh! **rolls back on top**  
Canada: Fuck yeah, eh! **rolls again**  
America: Fuck you! **rolls again**  
Canada: Only if you're doin' it~ **yanks on Nantucket**  
America: A-Ah... g-g-god, Matt...

France: Tu n'as jamais été pur, mon amour~  
England: WHATEVER YOU JUST SAID I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS BUT I DON'T THINK IT'S VERY GO-  
France: **forcefully kisses England's lips**  
England: MRRRPH! MRRMRRPH!!!!!

Austria: **shrugs** How should I know?  
Switzerland: THAT'S WHAT I'D LIKE TO KNOW!  
Liechtenstein: **watches curiously while eating a banana**  
Austria: The question is, _why_....  
Switzerland: THERE ARE NO QUESTIONS!  
Austria: Actually-  
Switzerland: THERE! ARE! NO! QUESTIONS!!!!! O.O ....  
Liechtenstein: ....Niisan lost his voice?

Hungary: STOP REPEATING EVERYTHING I SAY!  
Prussia: STOP REPEATING EVERYTHING I SAY!  
Hungary: I MEAN IT, GIL!  
Prussia: I MEAN IT, GIL!  
Hungary: grrrr...  
Prussia: grrrr...  
Hungary: **gets an idea** HEY EVERYBODY, I'M GAY!!  
Prussia: GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!! **thumbs up**  
Hungary: **fumes** **takes out pan**  
Prussia: Uh oh- **pan'd**  
Hungary: Hah! That'll teach you to- **insert firework boom here plz**  
Both: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!?!?!

Hong Kong: Oh! Use this one next!! **hands Taiwan a firework**  
Taiwan: **giggles** **puts a match near France and England's bed, which immediately lights up** **gives match to Hong Kong**  
Hong Kong: xDD **lights firework**

Japan: Hey, it seems those two are having fun.  
Prussia: But America is gettin' horny all by himself!  
Hungary: Just as you do but much hotter!  
Prussia: Oh, Austria's husband has spoken!  
Hungary: At least my brother isn't Italy's bitch!  
Germany: *very angry* Bitte?  
N Italy: Doitsu! Doitsu! You're so angry your hair is on fire!  
Germany: WAS? *sees fire* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! RETTE MICH!  
S Italy: USE THIS! *throws extinguisher*  
N Italy: *takes extinguisher-hits Germany repeatedly* Why it doesn't work?!

Seychelles: OUI! OUI! Now move to the left...  
France: Like this? *moves a little*  
England: I SWEAR I'M GOING TO-- *finger on his lips*  
France: Now lay still and let Nii-chan do his work, won't you, mon petit lapin~?  
England: ...Why do I always end up with psychos?

Taiwan: Wait! We're lightening fireworks in a bedroom?  
Hong Kong: Eeeer... Yeah?  
Taiwan & HK: *long silence* ...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! *run in circle like madmen*

England: *head-butts France* YOU- Wait... What's this fizzing?  
France: The flame of passion!!  
**firework lands between them**

Both: Oh, fu- *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!*

Switzerland: *waving his arms madly trying to shout*  
Liechtenstein: What, nii-sama? Do you want me to chase a mouse?  
Austria: Do you want a slice of Sachertorte?  
Liechtenstein: Do I have to attack Russia with a missile?  
Austria: Do you want me to play piano?  
Liechtenstein: Do I have to bring you that picture of Austria under the shower?  
Austria: WAS?  
Switzerland: *facepalms*  
Liechtenstein: Well... Anyone has his little fetishes...  
Austria: *eyes widen*  
Switzerland: *hits his head with the rifle. Repeatedly.*  
Liechtenstein: ...And you two would make a great couple!  
Austria: *blushes hard*  
Switzerland: *points the rifle to his head*  
Liechtenstein: You could even adopt me!  
Austria: *glasses break*  
Switzerland: *tries to reach the trigger*  
Austria: ...I see.  
Switzerland: *pulls the trigger*  
Austria: Schweiz...  
Switzerland: *nothing happens*...?  
Austria: ...*begs at his knees* I'd pose for you even naked on a piano, but please, SAVE ME FROM LIECHDJKBFDBFDJY!!!

Germany: **head falls off**  
N. Italy: AHH!!!!!! D-D-DOITSU!!! I'M SORRY DOITSU!!! I'M REALLY, REALLY, REALLY SORRY!!!!!!!!!!  
S. Italy: North... YOU KILLED HIM!!!!! **glomps N. Italy** NO MORE POTATO BASTARD!  
Germany's Head: Excuse me? **raises eyebrow**  
S. Italy: H-He's still alive?!?! **shoves N. Italy away** That was one hug that I just wasteeeedddd TTATT  
Germany's Head: =.=" can someone please attach me back?  
N. Italy: Oh, Germany! I'm so sorryyyyyyyy *tears*  
Prussia: **laughing his ass off in a nearby corner**  
Hungary: **takes out another camera** We could send this to AFV and win 100,000 BUCKS!!!!!!!!!  
Prussia: Yes! The awesome me will be rolling in the awesome money that is of which AWESOME!!!!!!!!

America: T-That, that's not fair... **grinds against Canada**  
Canada: S-S-SWEET MAPLE SYRUUUUUUUUUUPPP~ **

England: **hair, face and eyebrows are singed**  
France: **face is black with ash**  
Seychelles: ...Okay! Improvisation time! You two, bathtub, now! **points to bathroom**  
England: BLOODY HELL, YOU LITTLE-  
France: Save you're voice for when you are screaming my name out in pure _lust,_ mon cher~  
England: I WILL NOT BE SCREAMING YOUR NAME IN LUST I WILL BE SCREAMING FOR THE POLICE YOU GIT!!!!!!!!!

HK and Taiwan: **pause momentarily** ....AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! **start running around in circles again**  
Korea: Oooohh! Shouting was invented in Korea, too!  
China: **currently hiding behind Lithuania** NO IT WASN'T, ARU!!!! 

Lithuania: ....Oh.  
Russia: Has anyone seen China, da?  
Lithuania: O.O uh o-

Russia: **sees Liet** HAI LITHUANIA~  
Lithuania: **backs away slowly** h-h-hi, um, M-Mr. Russia....  
Russia: **reaches for Liet** **Come here, Lithuaniaaaaaa~**  
Lithuania: ACK!!! P-P-POLAAAAANNNNDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **runs away, leaving poor China behind**  
China: A-Aru?  
Russia: ....Oh, **sees China** Oh Chiiinaaaaaa~  
China: Aiiya, again?  
Russia: =D **nods**  
China: **sighs** alright, aru.  
Russia: Yaaaayy! Now bend over and become **one with Mother Russia, da~**  
China: **rolls eyes** **complies** I'm sorry you all had to see this.  
Taiwan: **wipes nose** O-Oh, I don't mind!  
Hong Kong: **twitching** Oh, I _do_.

Liechtenstein: But, what did I do?  
Switzerland: **blushes at the idea of Austria on that piano** **grins evil** **drags Austria (and the piano) far away**  
Austria: ....o-oh boy...  
Liechtenstein: Bruder, where are we go-  
Austria: Uhhh... he is going to have a very explicit argument with me that you should not see and.... just, go talk with Hungary.  
Liechtenstein: ...okay~ **goes off to wherever Hungary is**  
Switzerland: **headrifle****headrifle****headrifle**  
Austria: ....I'm regretting giving her that option now....  
Switzerland: **smacks Austria's head with rifle**

N Italy: Doitsu! Doitsu! Tell me something... ANYTHING!!  
Germany's Head: I like frolicing in the meadows!  
N Italy: Oh noes! His inner cow is taking over his body!! *hits him again*  
Liechtenstein: Hungary-samaaa!! *sees Germany's head talking* ...*smiles* Guten Tag, Deutschland!!  
Germany's Head: YOU! HERE! ATTACH ME BACK TO MY BODY SO I CAN KILL THIS IDIOT!!  
N Italy: GIMME BACK DOITSU, YOU FAT COW!!  
Germany's Head: *rolls and jumps on place to avoid being hit*  
Liechtenstein: Attach you? But I have no needle!  
Spain: Romano, there you are! You left all of a sudden when... *sees Germany* EL DIABLO!! *grabs Romano* STAY AWAY FROM MY LITTLE TOMATO!  
Romano: HEY! *punches Spain* *hurts his hand* Grrrrr.. LET ME HIT YOU, YOU SPANISH BASTARD! *waves hands madly*  
Spain: *hero-mode* I know you're scared, mi amor. But don't panick, I'll save you! *takes our axe*  
Germany's Head: Oh, scheisse. Even the in-laws now?

Japan: Do you think we should help him?  
Hungary: Naaah. He's German-made.  
Prussia: Hey, Liech-what-the-not-awesome!! Want needle?  
Liechtenstein: Yes, plea--  
Prussia: GOT NONE!  
Liechtenstein: -se. *glares* *takes out Swiss knife and places it under Prussia's throat* Now, listen well, you Prussian jerk. Tell me where the hell I can find a needle or I swear I'll cut your ass in tiny little slices.  
Prussia: *sweat drop* ...ASK ENGLAND!

America: *pants* Who?  
Canada: CANADA!!  
America: *stops and stares* ...What?  
Canada: *blushes* Sorry. The force of habit.

Poland: And how I was like tellin' ya, Greece, I totally...  
Lithuania: POLAAAAAAAAAAND!!  
Poland: *takes out sword* 'xcuse me, I totally have to kick a Russian ass.  
Lithuania: Poland!! Everyone's at it!  
Poland: Pardon. A Lithuanian ass. *charm on* Hello, baby!  
Lithuania: *steps back* ... RUSSIAAAAAAAAA!!

Russia: Ne, who pronounced my name in vain?  
China: I hate you-aru!! I'd use your scarf as mini-skirt!  
Russia: Awwww, that's so romantic!! Please do, China! *hands scarf*  
China: ...Ok-aru.  
Belarus: *on high-heels* My sixth sense of psycho-fangirl tickles. RUSSIA, I'M COMING FOR YOU! *starts running*  
Russia: Mmmmmh. *hears voices calling his name* I hear your prayers to become one with Russia, I'm just busy right now!  
China: ...Better not ask.

France: Police? But.. But I thought you wanted me only!! *cries*  
England: ...What?  
France: Me and you! Uniquement! And you... you... You want other people to join in??  
England: *blinks* ...France.  
France: You're just an attention whore, Angleterre!! And now...  
England: France. Stop it.  
France: I would even bathe in tea for you! I would scrub your chest with a croissant if you wanted! I'd even..  
England: FRANCE!  
France: ...QUOI?  
England: No-one is interested in your sexual phantasies.  
Seychelles: *droooooooling* I am.....  
Taiwan: *thumbs up*  
Hong Kong: Wait... This makes France my stepfather?  
Korea: *points at HK* AH-AH! *runs away*

---

To Be Continued....


	5. Britannia Angeeeel!

If you don't speak...

Spanish:

Diablo: Devil

French:

connard mais sexy américain: stupid but sexy American

Royaume-Uni: UK

Germany: ...... I am a Chinese YoYo?  
Spain: DIABLO! DIABLO DIABLO DIABLO!!!!!!!! **waves sword around** DIE, YOU STUPID CABBAGE HEAD!!!!!!  
Germany: Cabbage... Leavy Vegetable... LEAVES. LEAVES ARE SEHR GUT!

Liechtenstein: Where's England?  
Prussia: JUST FOLLOW THE YELLOW-BRICK'D SOUNDS OF PLEAS FOR HELP AND DEATH THREATS, YOUNG DOR- LILLIAN GALE 8D  
Liechtenstein: My last name is not "Gale", retard.  
Prussia: **backs away** Y-You wouldn't hurt His Awesomeness, r-r-right?  
Liechtenstein: I never really got that chance to~

America: No, but, whose Sweet Maple Syrup?  
Canada: Never mind, eh.  
America; Oh, what. So you're cheating on me now? HUH?  
Canada: No, I'm no-  
America: That's it, isn't it! I ca- aaahhhhahahahahaha~ why are your haaahahaaaannddssss going in my paaahahaa~nnnts...  
Canada: So I can shut you up, _tu connard mais sexy américain~_  
America: Whatever you just said... it sounded, really, really, hot...

France: Well, what about them? **jerks finger at Taiwan, Sey, and... Hong Kong...?**  
England: Those are no-ones.  
Seychelles: **snaps back into reality** Okay, you guys can go back out it now.  
Taiwan: Yes, please~  
Hong Kong: God, _NO!!!!!!_  
Korea: You know, porn was-  
Taiwan, Hong Kong, and Seychelles: Made in Korea, we know.  
Korea: ...I was going to say, "Made in Rome" but OKAY!  
Taiwan, Hong Kong, and Seychelles: **DOOOOOOM**  
France: Aww, _Royaume-Uniii_~ **kisses down England's torso**  
England: AHHGH!!!!!!! FROG LIPS!!!! I'M BEING ATTACKED BY FROG LIPS!!!!!!!! **tries to push France away**

Poland: No, like, Poland.  
Lithuania: BUT THERE WAS, AND IT, RUSSSIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Poland: Like, you sai-  
Lithuania: RUSSIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Poland: .... But h-  
Lithuania: RUSSIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Poland: .....I-  
Lithuania: RUSSIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- **yelps**  
Poland: **has apparently smacked a Lithuanian ass**  
Lithuania: What was that for?  
Poland: That was, like, to make you totally shut up.  
Lithuania: For what?  
Poland: **smirk** you'll see~  
Lithuania: ....I know that look....  
Poland: **chuckles**  
Lithuania: **grins** What are you thinking....  
Poland: ...I'm thinkiiiiinnnggggg THIS! **smacks Lithuania's butt again**  
Lithuania: **yelps**

Belarus: But, Niisaaaaannn~ We need to get married, married, married~  
Russia: O.O uh oh.... **grabs China and RUUUNNNSSSS**  
China: PUT ME DOWN, ARU! I DON'T LIKE BEING MANHANDLED LIKE THIS, ARU!!!! I'LL BECOME ONE, JUST LET ME WALK, ARU!!!!  
Russia: **sighs**  
China: DON'T SIGH AT ME, ARU!

Spain: TAKE THIS! *axe hits the ground*  
Germany's Head: AH-AH! *loses stability* Wooooo-ooaaAAAAH! *starts rolling down the stairs* OuCH! Aye! Duh! Krautz!  
N Italy: DOITSUUUUUU! *runs after Doitsu*  
Spain: AH-AH! No-one can defeat the supreme Spain!  
S Italy: *eats popcorn* Mmmmh. I need toma-- HEY! Where's the bastard?  
Spain: But I'm heeeeeeere!!  
S Italy: No, not you. The one who barks to speak.  
Spain: He's gone...  
S Italy: FOREVER? WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH! *jumps outside the window for the joy*  
Prussia: What's wrong with him?  
Spain: Germany's gone.  
Prussia: Ah, got i--- WAS? *epic drama* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOES!! MY MONEEYYYYYY!!!

Liechtenstein: *follows the "TAKE YOUR WET SQUISHY LIPS AWAY FROM ME YOU BLOODY WANKER" and enters China Town*  
Sealand: China Town? But Mommy, I thought little pink riding ribbon would enter a forest!!  
Finland: Once China didn't build his villas all over the world.  
China: Hey, do you know how many starving bad wolves come to my restaurant?  
Russia: *looks back* SHE'S COMING!!! AAAAAAH! *runs like a princess*

Sweden: Wh't 're y'u do'ng?  
Finland: I'm telling our baby a Fairytale.  
Sweden: Th't's p'rn.  
Finland: Whatever! *keeps on reading*

England: STOP IT! STOP I--Hey! Did someone say... Fairytale? I'M A FAIRY!! *takes out wand*  
Hong Kong: NO, DADDY! NOOO--  
England: *Britannia Angel-mode* FRANCE, LOOK! I SPARKLE LIKE EDWARD CULLEN!!  
France: ...Quoi?  
England: But I'm sure his eyebrows aren't this hot.  
France: England... stop it.  
England:*wiggles eyebrows*  
France: FOR F*CK'S SAKE, ENGLAND! THERE ARE CHILDREN!  
England: Oh. HELLLOOOO CHILDREN!!  
Hong Kong: --OOOOO. F*ck.  
England: DON'T SWEAR, HONG KONG! Or I won't grant your wishes.  
Taiwan: Wishes?  
England: Of course! The first one who catches me will have his wish granted. So... CATCH ME! *runs away*  
All: TAKE THAT ANGEL!!!

Canada: *giggles* It's the language of love!  
Kumajirou: *lightening* THE LANGUAGE OF LOOOOOOOVE!!  
America: What was that?  
Canada: *stripping* My inner polar bear!  
America: *stares* ...I'M GONNA SET IT FREE! *jump on Canada*  
Canada: GET OFF!!!!!  
America: PRUSSIA! MEXICO! TONY! GIMME MY CHAINSAW!!  
Canada: Your WHAAAAAT?? *struggles* HE'S GOING TO CUT ME IN PIECES!!! *sees Germany's head hitting every single step* I DON'T WANT TO END UP LIKE THAAAAAAT!! *screams like a sissy*

Prussia: ALL MY GREEN SLIPS OF PAPER, GOOOOOOOONNNNNNNEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! **sobs**  
S. Italy: NO MORE POTATO BASTARD!!!!! **glomp-attacks Spain**  
Spain: MY FETISHES ARE NOW FUFILLED!!!!!  
S. Italy: Whutwuzzat _bitch?!_  
Spain: O.O Uuuurrk... nothiiing~ nothing nothing, nothing at all!  
Hungary: SHUT THE F*CK UP! YOU'RE RUINING A PERFECTLY GOOD PORNO!!!!!

Sealand: ...Oh....My...God.... **points at a random window** Momma!! Look!!!  
Finland: What is it sweathe- Oh my...  
Sweden: ..... pl'stic b'bs?  
Sealand: Can I touch them? 8D  
Finland: No, honey. Lets just, errr, lets just keep walking.... **tugs Sealand along** Berwald, are you coming?  
Sweden: **staring at the plastic boobs** **nosebleed**  
Finland: ...Berwald....  
Sweden: Th're s'.... re'l'stic....  
Finland: **drags Sweden away**

Liechtenstein: **hears the sound of NO THERE ARE CHILDREN** **follows ears**

England: HAAAHAHAHAHAAA! I AM THE BRITTANIA F*CKING ANGEEELLL~  
France: My love, come back!  
England: CATCH MEH ANd YER GIT A WEEESSSHHHH~! **runs away**  
Liechtenstein: O.O"  
France: **chases after**  
Seychelles&Taiwan: YAOIIII!**follow**  
Hong Kong: **in a depressed corner** My dad.... is... GAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY *tears*

Russia: C-China... help... meeeeee!!! *cries*  
China: Why, aru?  
Russia: Ummm... B-BECAUSE BELARUS SCARES MEEEEEEE!!  
China: Why should I help you, aru?  
Russia: Uhhh.... I'll let you top this time, da.  
China: WHY THE HELL ARE WE JUST STANDING HERE, ARU! **drags Russia into the nearest mens room**  
Belarus: .....NIIIIIICHAAAAAANNNNNNNN~ WHERE DID YOU GOOOOOOOO~? NIIIIICHAAAAAAANNNNNNNNN~ I WANNA GET MAAARRIIIIEEEDDDDDD~

Tony: Where's the saw?  
Mexico: Saw of chain?  
Prussia: WOOHOOO!!! HEY GUYS, LOOK WHAT I FOUND! **riding America's chain saw into the sunset**

America: ....Guys?

Tony and Mexico: PRUSSIAAAAAA!!!!!!! GET BACK HEEEEERRREEEEEE!!!!!!! **chasing after Prussia**  
America: ....now how'm I gunna set it freeee *whines*  
Canada: .... I-I'm alive.... I'M ALIVE!!!!! I'M ALIVE, EH?! **makes out with America**  
America: An are hero is as hero liek burrgersss and- O CANADA~ **moans**  
Canada: O YOND AND FREE~  
America: ....  
Canda: ....  
America: .... celebration seeeexxxxxx? **puppy dog eyes**  
Canada: .... **jumps America**

Hungary: Oh, I so love i-*hit by a flying cat*  
Cat: Me-OOOOOOOW! *cat turns into a giant pink radioactive bunny*  
Hungary: GET OFF!  
Bunny: *glares* WAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!  
Hungary: *takes breath* WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!  
Bunny: Meow.

America: AN ALIEN! *kicks Canada out of the window*  
Bunny: AAAAAAH! AMERICA!! *jumps away*  
America: COME HERE, I WON'T HURT YOU! NOT MUCH!

England: *pirouettes* I AM SO BEAUTIFUUUUUUUL!! *jumps on a car* YEEEAAAAH!  
France: *takes megaphone* IGGY, SURRENDER! And come here to Nii-chan *sensual tone*  
England: *poofs behind France* Hellooo, Franchie!  
France: *turns* Whaa-?  
England: *head-wand*  
France: *turns into a frog* Croak-saint!  
Seychelles: Oh, God! HE EVOLVED!

China: Come, Russia! *takes Russia's hand*  
Russia: China... *heart splats against a locker*  
China: WTF-aru?  
Russia: CHINA, YOU MADE IT BEAT TOO FAST! *leans to take heart*  
Locker: What's all this noise?  
China: Eeeeer... Ni hao!  
Locker: Aaaaah! A Chinese! They're gonna invade us! QUICK, ATTACK HIM!  
Lockers: LET'S SQUASH! LET'S SQUASH! LET'S SQUASH! *move closer*  
Belarus: NIII-SAAAAAAAAAN! I KNOW YOU'RE THERE! LET'S GET MARRIED!! *scratches door*  
Russia: BELARUS!! *punches a locker*  
Locker: OOOOW! *opens*  
Russia: *takes China bride-style* ENTER!  
Russia & China: **land on the snow**  
Peru: *on a llama* Welcome to Narnia!!

Prussia: *chases llamas riding a chainsaw* KY-AAAAH!! I'LL SEIZE YOUR VITAL REGIONS!! *uses the elastic of his pants as a lazo*  
Canada: *still flying* I BELIEVE I CAN FLYYYYY!

Greece: *sees the cat running from America* FLUFFY!!  
America: *stops* Fluffy?  
Greece: It's a long story.  
Turkey: I WANNA HEAR IT! *sets a campfire*

Australia: Hong Kong!! What's wrong?  
Hong Kong: Daddy-... Daddy is.. *cries*  
Australia: *big brother-mode* Hush, I know.. It was hard for me too.. Here. Have a koala.  
Hong Kong: *sniffs* Can I give him a firecracker?  
Australia: Why not?  
Hungary: YEAH! YEAH THAT'S RIGHT! YOU BETTER RUN! YOU BETTER RUN FOR IT YOU LITTLE, YOU LITTLE.... What the hell _was_ that thing, anyway?

Japan: *shrugs shoulders*

Canada: I BELIEVE I COULD TOUCH THE SKYYYY! **still flying** **sprouts little wings**

Bunny: NOT MUCH?! WAAAAARRRRGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
America: DON'T YOU WARGH ME! TONY! COME HELP ME!!!!!  
Tony: KINDA BUSY RIGHT NOW, AMERICA!!!! **tied up in Prussia's elastic-lasso of awesomeness**  
Prussia: HELL YEAH YOU ARE, 'CUZ I'M AWESOME!!!!!!  
Tony: BUT I'M NOT A LLAMA!!!!!!!  
Prussia: BUT I'M STILL AWESOME!!!!!!!  
America: GET BACK HERE, ALIEN BUNNEH THING!!!!!!!  
Greece: HIS NAME! IS! FLUFFY!!!!!!!

Russia: It feels like home here~  
China: **freezing his butt off** d-d-d-don't you have any coats here?  
Russia: No coat, VODKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~!!!!!!!!!  
Peru: ...we don't have any of those, either.  
Russia: WHAT WAS THAT, DA~?  
Peru: I-I mean, s-s-s-sure you can have vodka!  
Russia: Yaaaaaaayyys!

France: **hops on England's head** mon amourrrrIBBIT.  
Taiwan: ... HE CAUGHT HIM! FRANCE CAUGHT HIM!  
Seychelles: CAMERA! GET THE FREAKING CAMERA!!!!!!!!!  
England: Ah, tooooo baaadd. Soooooo saaaaddd **sniffles**  
France: Make me human agggrrrrrIBBIT. English bastarrrrIBBIT.  
England: **sigh** Fine. **whacks France with wand sticky thing**  
France: **magically turns back into a human** Oh, je t' aime~ **kisses England**  
England: //// geddoff me you frog!  
Taiwan: I WANNA WISH TOOOOOO!!!!!!!! **glomps England**  
England: Grrrr.... fine. What do you fucking want?  
Taiwan: YAOI!!!!!!!!!  
England: **DOOOOOMMM**

France: What the--

England: *out a cloud of gay sparkling smoke* Hello~~  
France: M-Mon cher-- *dry throat*  
England: Shut up and fuck me, frog.  
Seychelles: **fangirl scream of doom**

Hong Kong: **begins feeding Koala a firecracker**  
Australia: Waiiit, what're ya do- **BOOM**  
Hong Kong: ....**blinks**....  
Australia: ....**blinks**....  
Koala: ......**BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP**...... 8D

To Be Continued... 


	6. kOALAs Attack!

Spanish:

¡Oiga! ¿Quién llama?: Hello, who's speaking?

Japanese:

Nani?: What?

French:

Je ne veux pas: I don't want to.

Russia: *drinks Vodka* Mmmmmmh! I like it!  
China: How did you..  
Peru: Coca leaves.  
China: Oh. Wait! WHAT?  
Russia: Loooook, China! A flying donkey!  
China: That's Canada-aru!

Cuba: What was tha-? *hit by flying Canada*  
Canada: *raise head* Oh, how soft! *bounces on Cuba* Boucy-bouncy!  
Cuba: What the- AMERICA!  
Canada: *vanilla ice-cream'd*

America: It's time to use my SUPAH-POWAH! *hides behind mobile phone to strip*  
Greece: Here, Fluffy. Have some moussaka.  
Bunny: *eats moussaka* *turns back to normal*  
America: *strikes heroic pose* DON'T WORRY PEOPLE! HERE COMES CAPTAIN AWESOME! *giant rainbow appears*  
Greece: Who's daddy's little kitty? Who's daddy's little kitty? *makes faces*  
America: NOOOES! I CAN'T FIGHT THE MOOEEEE! AAAAAAAAAAH! *flees*

Japan: Hu-Hungary...  
Hungary: WHAT NOW?  
Japan: *points at broken camera*  
Hungary: *blinks* *blinks twice* ...  
Japan: Hungary?  
Hungary: Y-Yaoi... No Yaoi...No more Yaoi...Ah. Ahah. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!*gets insane*  
Japan: *calls Seychelles* Answer the phone! ANSWER, YOU LITTLE-

Taiwan: Again! Yes, that was perfect! One more!  
Seychelles: France, thrust harder, dammit!  
France: I'd like to see you in my place!  
England: NO!  
France: Uh? *turns*  
England: That wouldn't be fun... *blushes*  
France: But... SO YOU LIKE ME! *wide smile* Oh, Angleterre! *whispers* You won't regret it...  
England: *swallows*

Spain: *answers phone* ¡Oiga! ¿Quién llama?  
Japan: Nani?  
S Italy: *takes phone* WE'RE SORRY TO ANNOUNCE THIS BASTARD IS TAKEN! GTFO OR YOU WILL DROWN INTO TOMATO SAUCE! *crushes phone*  
Japan's Phone: *We're sorry to announce this world is full of idiots. If you want to change planet, ask Tony.*  
Japan: THAT'S ENOUGH! I'M GONNA BE A PUNK!  
Hungary: *looks at Japan* ...Pfft-AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!  
Japan: ...Right after killing you. *takes out katana* Aaaaaaaah-

New Zealand: AUSSIE! ARE YOU OK?  
Austria: *coldly* Who have you just called "Aussie"?  
Switzerland: *petting him* Liebe, who's he?  
Austria: Your target.  
Switzerland: *takes rifle* Start running.  
New Zealand: OHMAI- DADDYYYYY! *runs to England*

Russia: Oh... then, FLYING BEAVER!  
China: **facepalm**  
Russia: Can we become one now, da~?  
Peru: **takes out camera** Hungary-nii-san will be so proud**  
China: **sigh** Aii-ya. But I'm topping, aru. That was the deal, aru.  
Russia: Yay~!  
Peru: 8D **starts filming**

Canada: **ice cream bounces off head** I'm Canada! **sobs**  
Cuba: What? **looks closer** ...oh, whoops.  
Canada: God damn you, I thought you'd remember me!  
Cuba: I did, I ju-  
Canada: No you didn't! **still sobbing**

Greece: ...why was America wearing spandex?  
Kitty: Mew~  
Greece: Awwwww... So cute! **puts kitty on head**

Taiwan: I knew it~  
Seychelles: Come on, harder! HAAARRDER! **still taking pictures**  
England: N-NO! NOT HARDER, DAMN IT! NOT HA- AHHHH~  
France: So you like that, mmm? **smirks**  
England: NO I BLOODY DON'T YOU FROG!  
France: Don't you lie to me, Angleterre~  
England: I- Ohhhh~  
Seychelles: YES!

Spain: **looks at Romano** ...what was that you said? **grin**  
S. Italy: NOTHING. I SAID NOTHING, DAMN IT!  
Spain: Noooo, you said something~  
S. Italy: DON'T PUT WORDS IN MY MOUTH, YOU SEXY BASTARD!  
Spain: Ohoho~  
S. Italy: **blushes** I DIDN'T MEAN THAT! I REALLY DIDN'T! I-IT WAS JUST A, ERRR, A SLIP OF THE FUCKING TONGUE!  
Spain: Of course it was~ **kisses S. Italy's neck**  
S. Italy: N-No, I do- Chi-Chi-Chi-Chigiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii~

Prussia: Oh, what an awesome day this i- **hit with Cuba's vanilla ice cream** **brain falls out**  
Hungary: **Prussia's brain falls on head** You can't kill me! I'm too AWESOME! **awesome pose**  
Japan: I can kill you, and I _will_...  
Hungary: NEIN!

Switzerland: THAT'S RIGHT, YOU BETTER RUN DAMN IT! **chases after New Zealand** WHEN I'M DONE WITH YOU- **fires rifle**  
New Zealand: ACK! **hides behind tree**  
Switzerland: **has apparently lost his voice again and is making incoherent grunting noises and waving his rifle around like its some kind of condom package**  
Austria: **sigh** You shouldn't work yourself too hard this early **kisses Switzerland's cheek**

Belarus: *threatening locker* Nii-san... Where is Nii-saaan?  
Locker: *sweating oil* Eeer... NARNIA!  
Belarus: *takes torch* I'LL BURN IT DOWN! Villagers, let's go!  
Villagers: *exit lockers* WE'LL CAPTURE THE BEAST!  
Belarus: *glares*  
Villagers: WE'LL CAPTURE NII-SAN! *marching* NII-SAN! NII-SAN! NII-SAN!

Chile: THE EARTH IS TREMBLING!  
Argentina: An earthquake! *hides under box*  
Venezuela: Americans! *hides behind bush*  
Russia: BELARUUUUSSS! *runs away*  
China: NOOOOO! *glares at Belarus* I'll make wanton out of you! WAAAA!

Liechtenstein: *enters room* ENGLAND! Final-  
England: WHAT DOES IT MEAN "I CAN'T DO IT"?  
France: I-I don't know,just... It doesn't work! IT DOESN'T WORK, DO YOU GET IT?  
Seychelles: *disbelief* No, this is not happening...  
France: I'M RUINED! WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO ME? *stops to think**eyes widen* I'LL BECOME ONE WITH RUSSIA? *gets hysterical*  
England: Calm down, France!  
France: JA NE VEUX PAS JE NE VEUX PAS JE NE VEUX PAS! Can you imagine what he'll do to me? HE'LL MAKE ME BOTTOM! AAAAH! *pulls his hair*  
Liechtenstein: -woh.  
Taiwan: *hands money* Here. Go get something! ANYTHING! *kicks Liechtenstein out*  
Liechtenstein: *falls on pavement**glances back* ...France. Pffft-AHAHAHAHAHAH!

New Zealand: AUSTRALIAAA!  
Australia: My brother's in distress! TO THE KANGAROO! *jumps in a kangaroo*  
Hong Kong: HEY! DON'T LEAVE ME HERE!  
Australia: Don't worry, koalas keep good company!  
Koala: *evil grin*  
Hong Kong: ...Stay away! My dad is a gay alcoholist!

Canada: NO-ONE RECOGNIZES ME!  
Sealand: I feel your pain!  
Finland: Peter, don't talk to Canadians! They're half-French!  
Cuba: REALLY? *jaw drops*  
Canada: Everyone has his dirty little secrets... *blushes*

Hungary: You can't defeat the incredible MANGARY! *launches frying pan manly*  
Japan: *avoid pan* No-one can stop an Otaku!  
Mangary: Pan, TRANSFORM! *pan grows wings and flies back*  
Japan: *pan'd*  
Mangary: *jumps on Japan* I WILL SEIZE YOUR VITAL REGIONS!  
Prussia's body: *starts moving by himself* Must seize vital regions. *attacks Mangary*

Germany: *rolls down a hill* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH *eats bee* BZZZZZZZZZZ!  
N Italy: *frolicing through the meadows* DOITSUUUUUUUUU! *trample over an ant**starts rolling down hill*

S Italy: WAIT!  
Spain: What! What's there?  
S Italy: I'm hungry. *reaches for tomato* Want one? 

Belarus: NII-SANNN~ WHERE ARE YOU~?  
Villagers: TO THE NII-SAN! TO THE NII-SAN!  
Random Villager: Wait... CAR?  
Villagers: CARS? WHERE? WHERE?  
Belarus: CARS ARE WITH NII-SAN~  
Villagers: TO THE NII-SAN!

Sicily: It's, it's... A mob of angry villagers?  
Mafia: O.e Oi, Boss, can we kill 'em?  
Sicily: **hides behind a tree** NO! NOW GET BACK HERE YOU BRAINLESS PIECES OF SHIT!  
Mafia: Mmmmmmkay boss. **hides behind tree**

Russia: I WANTED TO BECOME ONE, BUT THEN THIS HAPPENS! **wails**  
China: Aii ya, aru! I didn't even get to make any crab yet, aru!

Hungary: **Prussia's brain falls off head** PrussiaxPanxJapan? ...OHYES~ **watches with interest*  
Prussia's Body: REGIONSSSSS... I NEED REGIONS... THEY IS VITAL... AWESOME... I AWESOME... NESS...  
Mangary: LOCH NESS!  
Japan: ACK! MONSTER! **tries to shove Hungary off** YOU ARE TOO HEAVY!  
Hungary: WHO YOU CALLIN' HEAVY, BITCH?

Liechtenstein: **Prussia's brain falls on head** **realizes she just got free money** ...FREE MONEY, YAHOO! **runs away** Now I can... BUY SHIT!  
Seychelles: Oh no, oh my god no no no no no no no no nooooo...  
Taiwan: Hmmm... uke!France? **gets idea** Seychelles, do you know where Russia is?  
France: NO! MON DIEU NO!  
England: You won't become one with Russia he's too busy running from Bela-  
Belarus: **runs in with Villagers** WHERE IS NII-SAN?  
Villagers: NII-SAN! NII-SAN! NII-SAN! NII-SAN!  
Belarus: *sees France* Villagers, LAUGH!  
Villagers: AH AH AH!  
Belarus: TO THE NII-SAN!  
Villagers: AYEE! NII-SAN! NII-SAN! *destroy wall and exit*

France: But... But... *low self-esteem*  
England: Awww! *motherland-mode* Come here France, let me comfort you...  
France: *hugs* I'm not going to suck on your nipples.  
Seychelles: YES, YOU ARE!  
France: I'D RATHER MAKE OUT WITH CANADA!

S Italy: The Mafia is doing something.  
Spain: What?  
S Italy: I said... *hand comes out from the floor* EEEEK!  
Russia: BELARUUUS! *jumps on Romano* PROTECT ME! *sees Romano* F*ck, not you.  
S Italy: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU FROZEN FRENCH?  
Spain: *throws Tomato at Russia*  
China: *hit by tomato* *cleans his face* ...BLOOD!  
Russia: *panicks* A DOCTOR! A SURGEON! A SUNFLOWER!  
S Italy: A what?  
Russia: Quick! The tension is overwhelming!  
S Italy: *drops Russia* I HOPE HE DIES THEN!  
Russia: *takes out spatula*  
S Italy: SPAIN! *hides*

Japan: GET OFF! YOU'RE CRUSHING ME!  
Hungary: Are you trying to say I'm FAT? *takes breath* WAAAAAAAAAAARGH!  
Prussia's body: *sees Liechtenstein* Vital Regions...Seize them... *chases Liechtenstein*

Liechtenstein: AHAHAHAH! I'm cute and rich! *hears steps* What the-?  
Prussia's body: *dribbles* Waaaaargh.  
Liechtenstein: A ROBBER! *runs like a ostrich*

Turkey: Why like an ostrich?  
Greece: Because Fluffy likes big birds. Ain't it, Fluffy? Ain't it? You're my cute little kitty! My cute little kitty!  
Turkey: Now I get why he started doing drugs.

New Zealand: DON'T KILL ME! MY DAD IS POWERFUL!  
Switzerland: *coughs*  
New Zealand: DADDYYYY!  
Australia: The Hero has come!  
America: *crashing roof* So I heard you stole my COPYRITE?  
Austria: *plays Bach dramatically*  
Switzerland: *shots paino*  
Austria: MY BABY! 

Russia: **hears the Nii-san chants** Oh no.. oh no no no no, hide me, da!  
China: Aii ya **facepalm**  
Spain: **takes out a stick** Get out!  
S. Italy: GO HIDE BEHIND THE POTATO BASTARD OR SOMETHING, YOU COMMUNIST BASTARD!  
Russia: ...actually, that's not a bad idea! **leaves to find Germany** **drags China along**

Seychelles: **gets an idea** CANADA! WHERE THE F*CK ARE YOU?  
Canada: Eh? **pops up out of nowhere**  
Seychelles: GO MAKE OUT WITH FRANCE!  
Canada: E-EH?  
Seychelles: GO!  
Taiwan: **pushes Canada onto France**  
Canada: AH! **falls on top of France**

France: Mon dieu!  
England: WHAT THE BLOODY FUCK?

Japan: YOURSELF!  
Hungary: YOU'RE A WAAAARRRGH!  
Japan: OH YEAH? YOU!

Prussia's body: Regions... vital regions...  
Liechtenstein: **picks up a rock** STOP CHASIN' ME OR IMMA CRUSH YOU IN YOUR VITAL REGIONS!  
Prussia's body: REGGGIIONNNSSSSS...  
Liechtenstein: **trips** **brain falls into Prussia's head**  
Prussia: WAAA- ...FREE MONEY!  
Liechtenstein: _YOU_ again?

Switzerland: SHUT UP, ALL OF YO-  
Hong Kong: CHAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGEEEEEEE! **sicks massive amounts of Koalas on Switzerland**  
Switzerland: ACK! WHAT THE FU- **mass koala'd**  
Austria: My baby... my poor, poor baby... **sobbing over piano**  
America: YOU LITTLE **attacks Australia**  
Australia: WHAT THE HELL, MATE? **attacks back** 

Germany's Head: *spits bee* ITALIAAAAH!  
N Italy: *runs after him on a sledge* I'LL SAVE YOU DOITSU!  
Germany: *sees cliff* SOMEONE MOVE THAT CLIFF AWAY!  
N Italy: Ok. *takes out rubber* *cancels cliff*

Russia: *climbing cliff like King Kong* Germany must be here! I heard him squealing!  
China: *looks behind* R-Russia! The cliff is disappearing!  
Russia: Niet, probably it's Canada.

Canada: PAPA! What are you doing with... Daddy?  
England: *stares* Canada... There's something white on your face... What's i-  
France: *licks Canada* Hein, it tastes familiar..  
England: C-Canada? *gets pale*  
Canada: Hey, it's Cuba's, not mine!  
All: O.O

Austria: *glares at koalas* First you call me Aussie. Then, you kill my piano. And now you want to invade me with your dirty koalas? NO KOALAS IN AUSTRIA! *roll up his score*  
Hong Kong: QUICK! ON THE EUCALIPTUS! *all run to the Eucaliptus*  
Australia: My koalas! *throws a crocodile at America*  
America: Nooo! Awesome-man now dies! What will happen next?*phone rings* Hello?  
Belgium: Seven daaaays...  
America: *phone falls* ...ENGLAAAAAAAAND!

Holland: Why did you do that?  
Belgium: Because we need more CHAINSAW?  
Holland: Chainsa- *wild chainsaw cut his hair* ...HOW YOU DARED! *runs after chainsaw*  
Belgium: HOLLAND! WAIT, YOUR-  
Mexico: *out of breath* Pardòn, muchacha *anf* did you see a chainsaw?  
Belgium: THAT WAY!  
Mexico: Come, Tony!  
Tony: I come! I come! *jumps tied up in the elastic*

Prussia: GIMME THE MONEY, CHICK!  
Gilbird: *slaps Prussia*  
Prussia: What?  
Liechtenstein: Ooooooh, JEALOUS! *runs away*  
Prussia: *stares* ...Is that so?  
Gilbird: *blushes* Chirps... 

TbC...


End file.
